Time Marches On

It has been some time since I have posted an entry.  Many changes are about to happen in my family, and I think we are ready for them.  I have learned a lot about myself in the last couple of months.  I have learned that no matter what I might think, my family does love me, and I do indeed matter to them.  I have learned that humility is a lesson that comes when you least expect it, and that one should never become too comfortable in their present life to presume that a healthy dose of humility isn’t needed.  I have also learned that there is a lot more to life than what I find in my little sphere of existence.  There is a huge world out there, and not everyone shares my point of view.  That is the humility lesson that I have learned.  It’s okay that there are different people out there.  It’s never easy to swallow a jagged pill, but with enough help, anything is possible.  I have also learned that there is never room to worry- all it does is cloud the mind, and make it nearly impossible to come to a mature decision.  I can honestly say that I don’t worry nearly as much as I used to.  I am human, and that does happen, but that’s when I need to rely on God to lead me in the right direction.  He’s got the path memorized- I just need to take His hand and let Him lead me.  In the meantime, I will celebrate the differences in this world, and know that no matter what, I have God and my family to help me out along the way.  That’s all you can do in this world. 

Tolerance?

Once upon a time, I thought I was a very tolerant person.  I thought that I was “worldly,” and could and should be understanding of all religious beliefs (or lack thereof).  As time wore on, I was horrified to discover that I wasn’t tolerant at all.  I was actually very judgmental of everyone and everything.  I never realized how quickly I passed judgement on someone until I started becoming introspective, and looking at myself- the good, the bad, and the ugly.  I realized that this part of me is a very ugly place, and one that I want to rectify.  It’s not as easy as it sounds.

It has been asked of me recently how I come to write about these posts.  Today’s explanation:  I recently discovered a subreddit called Christianity.  It occurred to me, after reading some discussions, that I wasn’t nearly as tolerant as some of my fellow Christian Redditors.  So I started researching in the Bible on the subject of tolerance.  The first verses that screamed out to me can be found in 1 Peter 3:8-11.  It says “Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. For “Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit; let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it. “  This is definitely what I need to work on.  It isn’t always easy, erasing 40 years of passing judgement on someone that I don’t know, or don’t understand their way of thinking.  But…I am willing to try.  There have been people in my world, or even on the fringes, that I have passed judgement on, and I have even gone through the same thing that they were doing, and STILL passed judgement on them.  Hypocritical?  Why yes!  I should hang my head in shame at this very moment, but I wouldn’t be able to see my laptop to confess this ugly sin to all of you.

Another verse is a lot simpler than this one:  it’s Proverbs 16:24- “Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.”  Something else that I need to work on.  It still touches on tolerance, but also touches on how to deal with it- it’s not always a good thing to sling cruel words at someone…sometimes just being polite and gracious will get you a lot farther in life than immediately getting defensive.  After all…”who am I to judge?”  I am not God, and I most certainly am not Jesus.  I am but human, and I love my family and my friends.  I can’t ask for more than what I am given, and I am truly blessed.

Tolerance?

Once upon a time, I thought I was a very tolerant person.  I thought that I was “worldly,” and could and should be understanding of all religious beliefs (or lack thereof).  As time wore on, I was horrified to discover that I wasn’t tolerant at all.  I was actually very judgmental of everyone and everything.  I never realized how quickly I passed judgement on someone until I started becoming introspective, and looking at myself- the good, the bad, and the ugly.  I realized that this part of me is a very ugly place, and one that I want to rectify.  It’s not as easy as it sounds. 

It has been asked of me recently how I come to write about these posts.  Today’s explanation:  I recently discovered a subreddit called Christianity.  It occurred to me, after reading some discussions, that I wasn’t nearly as tolerant as some of my fellow Christian Redditors.  So I started researching in the Bible on the subject of tolerance.  The first verses that screamed out to me can be found in 1 Peter 3:8-11.  It says “Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. For “Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit; let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it. “  This is definitely what I need to work on.  It isn’t always easy, erasing 40 years of passing judgement on someone that I don’t know, or don’t understand their way of thinking.  But…I am willing to try.  There have been people in my world, or even on the fringes, that I have passed judgement on, and I have even gone through the same thing that they were doing, and STILL passed judgement on them.  Hypocritical?  Why yes!  I should hang my head in shame at this very moment, but I wouldn’t be able to see my laptop to confess this ugly sin to all of you. 

Another verse is a lot simpler than this one:  it’s Proverbs 16:24- “Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.”  Something else that I need to work on.  It still touches on tolerance, but also touches on how to deal with it- it’s not always a good thing to sling cruel words at someone…sometimes just being polite and gracious will get you a lot farther in life than immediately getting defensive.  After all…”who am I to judge?”  I am not God, and I most certainly am not Jesus.  I am but human, and I love my family and my friends.  I can’t ask for more than what I am given, and I am truly blessed. 

Pride Goeth Before The Fall, Right?

Above all else, I am a mother.  It is a role that defines me, and has shaped who I am.  I have made a lot of mistakes in this role along the way, but at least I can hold my head up high and say that I was “in the trenches,” doing what it took.  I love my children dearly, but they most certainly can get on my nerves.  I might not like criticism, but I get it on a regular basis.  My husband can be my biggest fan, and my largest critic.  Do I get angry when he finds fault?  Of course I do.  Do I always handle it well?  Not really.  It’s never easy to hear how you’ve messed up.  I have tried to take it all with a grain of salt (so to speak) but after a while, it does irritate me.   I prayed about this today, because I have felt that all he does is criticize me.  I found one Bible verse that defines how these two roles play out in my daily life:  Luke 17:3 states:  “So watch yourself.  If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him.” 

I don’t like the fact that I get criticized.  No one does, really.  But if I am to improve, then I certainly need criticism in order to do that.  I think, in all honesty, that the main reason I turn into a banty rooster when my husband finds fault is in direct relation to my pride.  However, there is an old saying that fits in that case, too.  “Pride goeth before the fall.” 

I think most of humanity feels that way.  There are days where we think that in our spouse’s eyes, there is nothing good that we have done.  On the other side of the coin, there will always be days where we will find fault with people. Familiarity breeds contempt,, right?  Wrong.  It doesn’t have to be that way.  We can and should take the criticisms that we are handed, and try to look at them objectively.  Does the other person have a valid point?  If so, what changes could be made to make that other person (and those affected) feel better?  These are questions that I will ask myself whenever I am told that I am doing something wrong.  I have to get rid of this intense pride that I have when it comes to this situation.

  Proverbs 16:18-19 gives me instruction on this little “pride issue” that I carry around like a monkey on my back – it says “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.  Better to be lowly in spirit and among the oppressed than to share plunder with the proud.”  This means that if we are humble, admit our mistakes and learn from them (even if they are pointed out), then we are that much better off than the people who think that they make no mistakes. 

The Bible is a great start when it comes to figuring out what you have done wrong, and how you can rectify it.  It is ageless, and always has relevant information, even for a prideful sinner like me.

The Jolly Green Giant And Useless Feelings

One of my all-time favorite movies is “The Prophecy,”  starring Christopher Walken.  The premise of the movie is that the angel Gabriel comes to earth and tries to wipe out humanity in a jealous rage.  This movie has unnerved me from the first moment that I saw it.  The one line that made shivers travel up my spine:  “Little Tommy Daggett…how I loved listening to your sweet prayers every night.  Then you’d jump in your bed, so afraid I was under there.  And I was…”  Just think about that line for a minute.  It sounds crazy, doesn’t it?  The truth is, it is  actually a very accurate statement.  Satan is always at the ready, feeding us a constant hors’ deuvre diet of jealousy, anger, greed, and any other little tidbit he can push into our mouths without us looking.  I fall victim to jealousy quite a bit.  Truth be told, I am a very jealous person, and that extends to nearly everything that I do.  I am always worried that someone else is getting more than me, or a better quality.  This feeling extends to people for me, as well as “plain objects.”  This, my friends, is a sad fact.   It doesn’t make it right, and I can offer up no conveniently pat excuses, diminishing my poor thought patterns.

It’s never easy to admit that you are jealous or angry, or anything else.  However, you have to take it for what it is – a negative emotion, and one that truly has no place in your life.  There is one Bible verse that puts this whole thing into perspective for me:  “For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.”  (James 3:16)  This is the simplest verse that I could find that sums up how these emotions affect my life.  Do I want Satan to win that battle?  Obviously not, but my mere “humanness” can’t erase that fact, no matter how many times I scrub at the marks.  Jealousy and selfish ambition are all tools that are used against our faith.  It’s up to us how we respond to these feelings.

These useless emotions remind me of an evil Jolly Green Giant, towering over everything that is good.  I have every intention of pushing back when Satan tries to sell me on these useless feelings.  Will you join me in this?

Christmas Is Coming!

The season is once again upon us.  I  remember, before I was a Christian, I would see stickers and signs that said, “Jesus is the reason for the season.”  I would laugh, thinking the idea was quirky.  I am the first to admit that I have a long way to go as far as leading a Christ-like existence.  The Bible is specific about that, but I still resist, like an errant child.  I was thinking just the other day as I was hunting down boxes or ornaments, untangling lights, and listening to my ten year old daughter tell me about what she wanted for Christmas.  My thoughts meandered to the first Christmas.  Can you imagine how wonderful it was for those wise men to see that star in the sky, pointing the way to the newborn Christ child?  Just sit and ponder that fact.  That was the ultimate Christmas gift.  God told us, in that one selfless gift, “I love you so much that I am giving you my son.  I know that you will at first accept him, but then you will treat him much like you treat my word- with derision and disrespect.  I love you so much that I give you this gift anyway.  I want you all to follow me, and this is the one way that I can show you that.”  Think about that for a minute.  Ponder the fact that the Christmas story, and so many people along the way who have turned to Him.

Somewhere along the way, we have lost that simplicity.  We find ourselves getting caught up in finding the perfect gift, the best bargains, and the best recipes.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s great to celebrate the season, and it’s a wonderful idea to exchange gifts.  But it’s what is at the heart of the season…the celebration of the birth of the kindest, most perfect man the world has ever known…that’s why this holiday exists.  It sickens me to the very core to see how different groups try to repress that belief.  I cannot understand how the rights of those that are offended by crosses and nativity scenes can come before the basic right to celebrate Christ’s birth.  It hurts me that this great nation has come to this.  So…please…let’s all work together and put the Savior back into the picture.  Remind everyone that is why they are scurrying about. Don’t be afraid of offending people with your beliefs.  Let’s all work to get back to the simplicity of the season.

This morning, I read a great blog about much the same thing.  you can find it at the following link:  http://www.untanglingchristmas.org/

It’s a great read, and will remind you as it did me…that Christ came for all of us.  God bless!

 

Just Your Everyday Update, Folks.

It has been quite a while since I have posted an entry.  My apologies…much has been happening in the family.  My husband had foot reconstruction surgery for the second time, on another foot.  This puts him out of commission for quite a while, and with a lot of mercy from God, it doesn’t seem to be as painful as the first surgery of this kind on him.  My daughter started her final year of elementary school, and my two year old is still…well…acting like a two year old.  I am embroiled in an Algebra class that has humbled me greatly.  I have managed to pull down an A average in every class so far but this one, and it’s killing me, but I guess I needed the slice of “humble pie” that I have been handed.  God has a way of doing that- reminding you that you aren’t in charge all the time, and that He is most definitely the one holding the outcome of just about everything.  All you can do in life is to strive to be a good Christian, and strive to do the right thing.  It doesn’t always turn out that way, because after all, we are human, and we do make mistakes.  There has only been one perfect person on this planet, and it most definitely isn’t me.

I have been completely captivated by “One Night With The King.”  It’s a novel by Tommy Tenney.  It’s about Queen Esther, and her story.  It was an amazing book, and I read it all in two days.  It was an awesome story, and Mr. Tenney captured it perfectly.  It was easy to see that he had put in quite a bit of research.  I still want to see the movie, despite the fact that it hasn’t gotten great reviews.  It has some high profile actors in it such as Peter O’Toole, and Omar Sharif.   I absolutely love a good love story, along with just a great plot in general.  It is most definitely worth the money if you want to head out (or online) to buy it.  I was very impressed.  I love that feeling that you get when you close a book for the last time, sighing in satisfaction at reading a great story.

Anyway, things are not too bad around here.  I am learning slowly but surely that everything will indeed be okay as long as I relax, trust the people close to me, and do my best to be the best person that I can possibly be.  So….there you have it.  I will post a little more regularly now that I have finally replaced the older laptop that I had.  I needed a new one for school, and the desktop was taking over ten minutes to load my textbooks for college.  I do not have enough time to sit and wait for that long for a textbook to load.  Hopefully now my dose of impatience can take a break.  It’s been working overtime on this one.  God bless, everyone. 

Greater Love Has No One Than This…A Reflection Of Memorial Day

My family has quite a history with military service, going all the way back to the Revolutionary War.  Although it cannot be proven, a relative reportedly fought in the war to gain independence from England and then was buried at the historical site in Ticonderoga, New York.  Family members of mine still pay homage to this man each year.  My father served in the military in not one but two branches, I have served, my nephew and now my husband and son each serve.  Although my family has remained somewhat intact while serving, I cannot let this day pass without thinking of  family members elsewhere who endure this day, thinking about their son/husband/father/brother/etc., and the fact that they died while valiantly serving their country.  This is, indeed, a day to remember their sacrifices.  They put their lives in danger and ultimately lost them, fighting for a nation and a cause they believed in.   All throughout the years, there have been Americans who have donned their uniform proudly, putting everything else in their lives on hold, to serve this great nation of ours.  This is a day to pray for them, remember them, and shed a tear or two.  I know that I will.

During my bible study this morning, I came across a verse that touches me on a day like this- it’s John 15:13.  “Greater love no one has than this: to lay down one’s life for friends.”  While many of our fallen military members may not have been an intimate acquaintance, they became our friends because they were defending us from enemies that would have liked nothing better than to kill as many Americans as possible.  They put themselves in harm’s way to protect those of us they had never met, and did it willingly.  Men and women are still raising their right hands even today, taking the oath of enlistment, and swearing to defend all enemies, foreign and domestic.  They do this so that we can sleep at night without fear that our children will be dead before the sun rises again.  It is a day of reflection.  Please send a prayer up today for all those that now recline in Heaven, finally getting the rest that they didn’t get in the heat of battle.  Heavenly Father, please keep those that have fallen in battle safe.  Hold them close, and let them know that they are not forgotten.  I will personally NEVER forget those sacrifices.  You are all my heroes, and I cannot thank you enough for ensuring that I am free, and a citizen of the greatest country the world has ever known.  Bless them and the families left behind on this day.  Amen.

Don’t Let The Past Eat You Alive

Recently, a good friend of mine started experiencing some family issues.  I did the best that I could to be there for her, but her problems brought back all the fear, anger and pain that I felt during a similar time in my life.  I remember wondering,  “Will I ever feel secure again?  When will this end?”   It was a rough time in my life, but I finally figured out how to get through it and better myself in the process…GIVE EVERYTHING TO GOD.  You see, the best possible thing that you can do to get past the rough spots in life is to give it all to Him.  Treat Him like a parent who will always be there, be completely honest with Him, tell Him everything, and tell Him what you would like to see happen with that situation.  But remember…God’s plans aren’t always the same as our plans.  I often have to remind myself of that.  What I think should happen is, more often than not, not what actually happens.  As Christians, we often struggle with that realization.

Being grounded in faith, and our status as “saved” does not mean that our lives are without complications and troubles.  While it was easier for me to get through those times by handing everything over to my Heavenly Father, it did not erase the feelings of doubt, and the self-hatred that seemed to wash over me.  I felt that I was less than a person, and that I was “ugly.”  I realized, after a time, that was NOT the case.  That I am not ugly, and I do have worth on this planet.  I just needed to get past all the negative, ugly, hurtful feelings to discover my true self.  Trust me, that path of discovery is not even close to being complete.  I can say with certainty that I will be meandering on this path for the rest of my life.  Have a blessed day!

Ease Up A Bit!

My son is very much in the “terrible twos” stage. Don’t get me wrong- I love him so much, but he really tries my patience- a lot. I really enjoy spending time with him, but he does get a bit mischievous. Allow me to give an example…

Last week, I was pathetically stupid and left my Bible where my son could get to it. Apparently his older sister left a highlighter out as well. You can imagine that this was a lethal combination. I went to study my Bible with my morning coffee, and ‘lo and behold…there on the first five or six pages are dayglo pink scribbles. My first reaction: “You destroyed my pristine Bible! My handbook for living, and my light in the storm! AAAAAAHHHH….” Once I had calmed down and had the hyperventilation safely under control, I realized one very important thing. What is that realization, you ask? It’s this: okay, so he wrote in your Bible. It’s still readable, and for as long as this Bible is in use, you have a convenient reminder of how much you love your son. So, in the end, I realized that I don’t need to be as uptight, and after counseling both myself and my daughter in the dangers of leaving things like a highlighter and a Bible in range of fat, busy little hands, all was right in the world. Now, when I open that Bible, I smile, because I see that my son wrote me a little love note.