Doing Little Things For Yourself (A “Girlie” Post)

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During this entire divorce process, I have admittedly let myself go a bit.  I don’t care for my appearance as much as I did before, and I don’t put on makeup, fix my hair, or do my nails like I once did.  My soon to be ex-husband and I are still residing in the same house, and I have to say that the stress is unbelievable. At the end of the day, I am so exhausted by the thought that I am living with someone who doesn’t love me as much as I love them, that I fall into bed, grateful that another day has passed.  This morning, I decided to do my nails.  Before all this started, I had gotten into doing a bit of nail art here and there.  I am letting my nails grow, and with this growth process, it makes me want to fix myself up a bit.

At this point, you might be asking yourself, “How does all of this equate to being a Christian woman, involved in a divorce?”  Please allow me to explain.  Although you might find yourself in a situation that you never imagined for yourself (I certainly do), it’s okay to take a few minutes (or hours, in my case) to do something for yourself to make you feel a little better. At this point, my children still do not know that we are divorcing.  We are waiting until I have found a job, and the money to get my own place, before we drop this bit of news on their heads, changing their world forever.  The stress from keeping this information close to the vest is unreal.  You might be in the same position- after all, your world is going to change, too.  But that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t care for yourself just a bit.  In my case, looking down at my nails, and seeing just that little pop of color in my grey world, does indeed help.  It makes me feel like a woman again, instead of a failure at marriage.   It makes me feel pretty, if even only in my eyes. Although God does throw challenges our way, and this is most certainly a challenge, He doesn’t want us to forget ourselves.  It’s okay to treat yourself here and there.  So, go ahead.  Go fix your hair, put on some makeup, and do your nails.  You will be surprised at how much it will perk your spirits in an otherwise dark world.  Besides that, look around.  Spring is around the corner, and that means a rebirth of sorts.  Let the scent of new flowers, new grass, and green bits starting on the trees invade your soul.  Let this rebirth in spring, and those prettily painted nails invade your soul like it has mine.

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8 responses »

  1. Love this! You take care of YOU and don’t feel guilty or anything like that – do things that are going to make you feel good about yourself!!!! I think all of us women need that! (i.e. getting a pedicure, special haircut, a night out with a close friend). Thanks for this reminder! Blessings to you during this trying time!

    • Thank you for your kind words, Clare. I am glad that I could remind you of this, and you’re right- women sometimes forget thing like this. My manicure might be something small, especially since I didn’t fix my hair today, and I am still wearing sweats, but it’s still something. 🙂

  2. You have got to take care of you. I do know the feeling of just doing nothing. I lost my job and many days feel like an utter failure, with no point in doing the things I use to do as far as upkeep: doing my hair, makeup, exercise, etc. It takes constant prayer but I take it one day at time. I ask the Lord to walk with me and give me the strength to make it through another day.

    • I can relate! Through this process, I will have to purchase a car, find a job and a place to live…so I feel as though I am starting all over again. I am starting a CNA class next month, so I will have a good job in the end. It’s just going to take time. In the meantime, I say we band together and keep up those girlie things!

  3. My husband and I went through some real difficulties this winter – marriage ending difficulties. Part of it was letting myself fall to the way, way WAY bottom of everything, from my health to my self-confidence. We have chosen to work things out and while it’s not easy, I let him know – in no uncertain terms – that I had done for the family at the expense of myself for the last time. Sure, I still do a lot, but I no longer do everything, no longer take only teeny, short breaks, and care for myself as well. After all, God has made me the stewart of my body, right? If you don’t take care of yourself, you can really lose yourself, so please, enjoy what you can and trust in the Lord to help you through this. Praying for you.

    • Thanks! I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Marriage is hard work, and I’m glad that you and your husband have chosen to work it out. In my case, I wanted to work it out – I still do- but he does not. “You can lead a horse to water…”

  4. It is good that you are able to be civil and live together until you can get on your feet, others aren’t so lucky. Glad you were able to see some color in your cloud of grey and as a divorced person myself let me just say keep your head up, it gets better.

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